Limiting Belief: Being Sober Isn’t Fun

Dear Limiting Belief,

I know that you believe that life without alcohol is boring and flat, but I am here to tell you that it is possible to have a great time sober. Alcohol never made things fun in the first place. It was an easy way to change your mood or to gain a bit of energy, but the good feelings that it created were short lived and fake.

You might have an idea in your head about the type of person who is sober while others are drinking. “What a bore! Must be totally uptight! Learn how to let loose and live a little!” The fact is, however, that many different types of people stay sober for a variety of reasons. You know what is crazy-sexy-cool? Taking care of yourself! Loving yourself! If you know that alcohol does bad things to your mind, body and soul, then not drinking it makes you smart. It is fun to be smart!

After you are sober for awhile you begin to realize that fun comes from within. It comes from spending time with people who ‘get’ you. It comes from finding things authentically funny and weird and awesome- which is totally life in a nutshell. It does not come from a bottle of booze.

Is it fun to say stupid things to people when you are drinking? No. What about waking up hungover? Um, no, not fun either. What about blacking out and not remembering how you got home? Scary, not fun. The list goes on…while drinking does make you feel a sense of euphoria, it can also make you sick and hurt and feel really bad about yourself. It can also do far worse things. Are these things fun? No, sir.

So you might feel left out sometimes when everyone else seems to be drinking. Does that mean that you can’t have a good time? Hell, no! You can do everything sober that you did while drinking, but in reality you might not want to. You might find that your idea of ‘fun’ changes a little bit. And that is 100% okay! It can be totally fun to stay home and read a good book or curl up on the sofa with a good friend and a cup of tea, chatting about life. These things are not wild and crazy, perhaps, but they are real and fun and good. You will probably realize that hanging out at bars with a bunch of drunk people isn’t actually all that much fun, and that if you need to be drunk to do something it likely isn’t a fun thing to do in the first place.

You know what is fun? Being yourself. Finding hobbies that you enjoy. Being creative. Taking real risks that don’t involve a crutch. Learning what makes you truly happy. Exploring. Traveling. Growing. Loving. Giving. Accomplishing goals.

Living life is fun! It’s your life. Free and clear and sober and authentic and messy and good and bad. So go away, limiting belief. Being sober IS fun and we don’t need you anymore.

Advertisements

Limiting Belief: I Don’t Deserve Nice Things

Dear Limiting Belief,

I am here to tell you that I do in fact deserve the nicer things in life. Just because I want to be surrounded by things and people that make me happy, that are lovely and quality and nice, does not make me selfish or greedy. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be comfortable. Not all the time, perhaps. But I deserve these things, just like everybody else deserves these things. We do not always get what we deserve, but we are all worthy of the very best that life has to offer.

For some reason when it comes to my own wants and needs I am perfectly content scraping the bottom of the barrel. I am uncomfortable being acknowledged. “No, don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about me. I’m sorry for taking up so much space. I don’t need anything or anybody. Everything is okay!” This is my attitude a lot of the time. Where the hell did this attitude come from? When did I start believing that wanting normal material possessions or the people around me to acknowledge certain things about my life makes me greedy and selfish? It’s not like I want a private plane and a yacht. I want a comfortably furnished home that reflects my style, quality clothing that makes me feel good about myself, and a safe car. I want people to celebrate me when it is my birthday or when I do something that I worked hard to accomplish. I have wants and needs, dammit! So do you. We all do, and they are okay to acknowledge.

Am I so afraid of being disappointed that I don’t even try to have my needs and wants met anymore? That I put them down, and by doing so put myself down? Why? Making myself small does not serve me or anybody else. It takes away from the world, in fact.

For some reason it was perfectly fine to drink all the drinks and smoke all the smokes. To engage in unhealthy relationships that made me feel bad about myself. When it comes to hurting myself I can have as much as I want. This is crazy!!

So, limiting belief, I am not listening to you anymore. I am going to acknowledge my wants and needs. I deserve good things, nice things, wonderful things. I am not selfish and greedy because of this.