A Slow Attitude Adjustment and The Spaces Between

I am thinking recovery is kind of like one long, slow attitude adjustment. I started out feeling really scared, hesitant, angry, and generally crappy about getting sober. I had backed myself into a corner. I HAD to do it or else the consequences would most likely be dire. That’s not the nicest place to be, as many of you know.

Over time my attitude has slowly gotten better, and I know that it will continue to improve the longer I stay sober AND work on my recovery. Being sober does wonders, but I have to keep making adjustments in order to truly be happy with my new life. I can’t force it to happen, though. It takes time, and that requires a shit ton of patience on my part. For example, one day I hope to be more social again. I HEAR that it is possible to go out and be sober, but I am just not ready yet. I have to listen to that voice of reason, as doing so has helped keep me sober for this long. It ain’t wrong, and it will tell me when I am truly ready to do certain things. Attitude is key to feeling happy and not deprived. By most accounts, as long as I work hard and STAY SOBER, it will only take a few years max to feel totally normal (or happy sober, I suppose…normal is kind of a dumb concept). A mere drop in the bucket!

In the meantime, I am focusing on the spaces between the hard times. It is getting easier, and the spaces are growing longer. Instead of focusing on the shit, I am trying to focus on the happy, fun sober times in between the bad times. The longer I stay sober and continue to work on my recovery, the bigger the spaces are.

See? It is all just a big attitude adjustment. πŸ™‚

22 thoughts on “A Slow Attitude Adjustment and The Spaces Between

  1. Totally!!! It just takes time, and it will happen, as long as you keep being sober. One day, you will wake up and start to feel social again, start to not really care one way or the other if you drink. Then, you’ll actually start to appreciate the realistic aspects of being sober: no hangovers, ever; no feeling unhealthy; no stupid drunken tricks, ever. It will happen, it really really will. So, yeah, just hang in there and focus on the good moments! xx

  2. “totally normal” please never that I want to always be slightly a few degrees off normal. if I ever feel normal I might think a drink is a smart idea again.

  3. I can remember being right where you are. I call that early period of my sobriety my “stark raving sober” period. Stay with it! If you continue on with the recovery process, I promise it will get better and better and better.

    • Haha. I love that. I def feel that way sometimes…it is all so SERIOUS to be sober. I can’t wait for it to let up. I know it will, so I am trying my best to be patient. Thanks for the kind words!

  4. It’s kind of like when we first start drinking- we’re not drunks immediately, but slowly, incrementally we slide. But this shift is in a positive direction πŸ™‚

    Go you!

  5. thanks for this as I am so about to toss in the towel. not having replaced the so called fun of drinking with anything is a major problem right now plus hellish work .. seems all drudgery .. sorry am whining really .. but fuck … need an attitude adjustment for sure. I know it won’t help to drink, except for a short minute – get that backed in a corner feeling .. long view….

    • Oh no! Don’t toss in the towel. It will get better soon. I understand the feeling of drudgery, but it will pass! Yep…the long view is where it’s at, even though it can be so hard. Take care of you! Give yourself some treats. xx

  6. thanks so much. I shall carry on! I also have not done the social piece .. though I have a work thing tomorrow to go to but doesn’t really count as hardly a drunken stupor and people don’t really know me or my past habits – you’ve help. shall come up with treat. best!

  7. It comes, Jen, it comes. Doesn’t even need to be years, my friend. It comes in dribs and drabs. Sometimes a little rush, sometimes a gentle drop. But we move forward every day. I too get impatient (that is why “patience” is my word for this year) and I want it all now. But methinks there is a reason we don’t get it all at once. Flowers open up gently…not in a panicked manic rush. Silly analogy, but the point being is that we have lived our entire lives in one way, so to assume that we can change overnight might be a bit much on us.

    We need to be gentle to ourselves πŸ™‚


  8. Hi Jen, I know what you mean. Last week I was finally able to go out to a nice restaurant with hubby and not want the glass of wine. I couldn’t believe I had actually arrived there. Although I’m not reading to go to a house party/dinner with friends yet, I’ll take the baby steps now as I’m sure I’ll be walking on my own soon everywhere. I hope this makes sense.

    • Sure does! I am planning a few social things in the future cause I am finally feeling ready, but it has taken me a longer time than I would have thought! We will see how it goes. I am going to have an exit plan. Thanks for the comment! Glad you had a nice time with your husband. πŸ™‚

  9. ‘attitude is key to feeling happy and not deprived’ – so so true! We can only see things differently by looking at them in a different way.

    Glad you are noticing/enjoying long stretches of happy now. I am definitely finding the longer I have sober the easier it is to make good decisions. Thank goodness!

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