From The Outside Looking In

A friend of mine recently announced to the world, via social media, that she has not had a cigarette or drink of alcohol in a year, aside from one experience with a few glasses of wine over the summer. She moved away a few years ago and we don’t really stay in touch…we were really just becoming friends when she left. I follow her life through the amazing channels of social media, as I do with many other people. I apologize for the stalker-y nature of this post, but I think it is worth sharing how cool and good sobriety looks from the outside.

I was reflecting about her quitting, and how great that is, when I started thinking of a few other friends and acquaintances who are now sober, and who I have also followed on social media over the years. In many cases, I used to drink with these people, and they either moved away or we lost touch for one reason or another. I sometimes admired their sobriety from afar but never really dwelt on it, as it hit too close to home.

First of all, my sober friends are gorgeous. They have great haircuts, fabulous clothes, and generally look really put together. They definitely have that je ne sais quoi when it comes to personal style.

They also do a lot of fun things, according to the pictures that they share with the world. I know that social media doesn’t exactly provide an accurate picture of a person’s life, but you get an idea of what they are up to from what they choose to share. For example, mine is basically pictures of my baby right now. I can’t help it…my family is my main focus at this point in my life. My old pictures are filled with nights out drinking. I kind of want to delete them, but I also don’t want to erase my past. I did those things…I just don’t do them anymore.

Anyway…my sober friends go to interesting places, have nice dinners, go out at night, and generally appear to be having fun sober. They travel and live in cool locations. They create things. They appear to live well.

My point is that even though this sobriety stuff can be freakin’ hard and a pain in the neck sometimes, it is worth it because it helps to improve our lives. It improves it so much that it is actually visible to the outside world! It is one more tool for me to think about and picture when I am having a hard time staying sober…what do I want to show the world about myself? Well…I want to be a put together lady who treats herself well. Being sober helps me accomplish that.

3 thoughts on “From The Outside Looking In

  1. hi. thanks for this post because I have been feeling like a total isolate – and was feeling myself weakening thinking “I am going to have to have a drink with people just to get out”. Nonsense, I know. I think i could go out and not drink, but my husband is also on the bandwagon and felt he could not deal with our drinking crowd this season, so missed all parties. The kids were happier with us and we were much better involved. Can’t have it all … yet!!

  2. time comes when we get out of our shells of early sobriety and start to stomp outside the world a bit and start to let the light back in…and give back. You will notice yourself opening up more, and starting to get interests (again) and exploring new things and doing that kind of deal. It’s tenuous at first, and I too sort of cocooned with my family at first (I had hurt them the most, so I wanted to heal with them first) but then realized I needed a life proper.

    It’s cool that your now sober friends are giving you a good idea of where things can go for you. You deserve it 🙂

    Blessings and have a wonderful Happy New Year


  3. Happy new years, very true what you said. I was with family over the holidays for the first time since I sobered up and a reoccurring theme was how healthy I looked compared to years past. Not from a personal style point of view but just health in general. But none the less what you say rings true, the people I know who have sobered up have made nothing but improvements, where as my old drinking bud’s, not so much.

    Cheers, all the best in 2014

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