I am trying to switch to an attitude of gratitude for the hardest times in my life. The times that make my heart feel tender when I think about them, whether they happened yesterday or 20 years ago. Because maybe, just maybe, those things happened to teach me something.
I guess I am growing tired of playing the blame game. Everyone has a story. Some are sadder than others, but they all have tender parts. Life is a messy and difficult thing, but it is also crazy and joyous and unexpected and fun (at times…if you let it be). I turned out to be an alcoholic. While some of that has to do with my upbringing, a lot of it has to do with MY choices and MY journey. I ended up here because I needed to be here. Maybe some people are more stubborn than others and it TAKES becoming an alcoholic to get them to wake up. I don’t know. Not everyone gets the chance to learn, break free from denial, and change their lives. I have the opportunity to do so, and that means that I am going to count myself lucky.
This Christmas, I am giving myself and my family the gift of forgiveness through gratitude. Thank you, life, for putting me in the situation that I am in. Thank you for letting me experience the ups and downs that I have been through. Thank you for FINALLY allowing me to break free from drinking myself numb all the time. That is a hard damn thing to do, so feel grateful whether you are sober or trying to get there.
I have more love for myself than I used to, and I am stronger than I thought. So are you. That is something to be grateful for. Merry Christmas.