Random Thoughts From 100 Days Sober

100 days sober. Bring on the unicorn glitter parade! πŸ™‚

unicorn-glitter-fight

I have never purposefully quit for this long before (in 20 years of drinking), aside from during my pregnancy, and that didn’t really count cause I was counting down the days until I could booze again. I was sober but not learning or growing as a result of it. In honor of 100 days I decided to put together a list of some of the thoughts I am having about this journey so far. It ended up being kind of random…my apologies.

  • I have been feeling pretty bumbling lately in a lot of my interpersonal relationships. I have been saying the wrong thing a lot, mainly in a good-hearted attempt to speak my truth. I am trying to be honest, but I think I need to take some lessons in sensitivity… or just stop talking. Being sober is a huge learning experience. I dunno, I think when you get sober you have to do a lot of introspection, and it’s pretty deep, and it’s hard to talk about it without sounding like an asshole sometimes. I guess I feel like I am in an awkward stage of my sobriety where I want to help others, but don’t have the tools to do so. I am hoping that I get better at communicating my thoughts on sobriety without sounding so weird about it. In the meantime I am going to stop talking about being sober so much and try to just BE for awhile.
  • I am getting tired of focusing so much time on being sober. Like … I just want to get to the down and dirty of living my sober and totally kick-ass life. I know I need to continue to focus a good amount of time reading about sobriety, writing about my experiences, and processing daily events, but I think it is okay to stop obsessing about getting sober all the time. I am officially doing it. I give myself permission to think about other stuff sometimes.
  • I am choosing to approach sobriety believing that I will never drink again, but when it gets hard I take it one day at a time. I think taking the option to drink totally off the table has helped me. I had to make a big commitment in order to get this far, and it is a lot easier to tell myself a big fat NO when I want to drink rather than letting those sneaky thoughts slip in that I can have just one, or that I really don’t have a problem. No waffling allowed. I can’t drink … it is an absolute. But some days I talk myself through cravings by going one day at a time. I mean, I can always drink tomorrow, you know? It works.
  • Certain things worried the heck out of me when I stopped drinking, and now they are no big deal. I don’t miss bars like I thought I would. At first I was so sad … where would I go for fun? I have to say it is such a relief that I don’t really miss that lifestyle. I hope that one day I can go anywhere without wanting to drink, even a bar, but not yet. I am not ready. Some of my friends have stopped inviting me places, and that is okay. Some of my friends have been really great. My point is that it has been different than I expected. Better. The universe has provided me with ENOUGH, and it is a good feeling. The scariest part is just DOING it in the first place.
  • I love feeling good every day. I feel healthy, free of hangovers, guilt-free, shame-free. I have a clear conscience, more motivation, and more lettuce in my pockets. My life has less drama. Overall, it is groovy to feel so good on a daily basis. A vast improvement from 100 days ago when my anxiety was absolutely through the roof.
  • There are some things that will not change just because I am sober. Quite a few members of my family still have problems with alcohol, and they aren’t going to stop because of me. It hurts and I hate it, but I can deal with it. I am no longer a powerless child like I was when I first started drinking. I am not a victim. I am working on forgiveness with good boundaries intact. I am learning that I control my feelings to an extent, and that I do not control the world around me. This is a work in progress. I think this will ALWAYS be a work in progress. πŸ™‚

I am so freaking glad that I decided to get sober. My life is SO much better already. I can’t wait to see what happens in the next 100 days. There are some tough times ahead with the holidays and stuff, but I am picturing how AMAZING it will be to get through them sober. I can’t wait.

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36 thoughts on “Random Thoughts From 100 Days Sober

  1. I am so happy for you! Keep up the good work. I continue to struggle every day. I have the intention to quit, but I am cheating and only hurting myself. I am glad to read when it is working for someone else….it gives me hope and inspiration that I CAN do it too.

  2. Congrats on your 100 days!!

    What you are going through was what I went through around that time. And many of the other people I know and who I have worked with were the same…so you’re at where you need to be at. Your last point is wonderful and insightful and will help you every day – I have to do the same too. What others think of me is none of my business, etc. And boundaries – I can’t tell you how much those have worked wonders for me.

    Great work…a new life, eh?

    Love and light,
    Paul

  3. Congratulations! 100 days is huge. I hope you feel very proud of yourself. I totally get what you’re saying about wanting to just get on with a kick ass sober life, I feel the same. But introspection is good. We drank for a reason, it’s important to understand why. K x

    • Thanks! I totally agree. I am slowly unraveling the reasons I had for drinking, finding new more stuff to work through, and on and on. A lot can be pushed aside when you drink to cope with life! xx

  4. 100 days. I am so glad and proud of you! I know what you mean about having good advice to give, but not knowing how to say it right. Just keep on keepin on- you are doing it right! πŸ™‚ Something that just occurred to me is that I keep waiting to be finished with getting sober, and I am, but I’m not finished being sober. It’s like I’m waiting to graduate or something. For a finish?

    100 high fives and hugs.
    xoxoxo
    amy

  5. Yay Jen! This is so exciting! You have done it – you are doing it – you feel excited about what’s up ahead, which means you’ll keep doing it. I am excited for you reading this – well, what I can read through the glitter all over my keyboard that is…

    What a great and honest list. I know exactly what you mean about getting tired of thinking about being sober all the time. I still feel that way at 200 days sometimes honestly but it gets easier and I trust it will keep getting easier. Sometimes you just have to give yourself a little hiatus and that’s fine – just don’t get too far away from what’s been working to get you to this point.

    What’s that over there? i do believe it’s an OFFICIAL UNICORN GLITTER PARADE IN YOUR HONOUR. Well done lady!

    Lilly x

  6. yahoo!!! right behind at a hundred tomorrow! things are sooo much better. i can’t go back to that pit ever and I am 10 years older than you – 10 extra years of poisoning of which you will be spared! i hear you about the holidays but nothing is worth losing this clear head over – the tough moments are just due only to years of learned behaviours which with time can be replaced with better responses – already are! the idea one must drink to celebrate and enjoy or to cope must be kicked to high hell – it is a load of bs. plain and simple. great job!

  7. In every way this is a wonderful post. And look at all the love you have shared with all of us. In some ways I feel I get to live it over again when I celebrate with you. I have a friend that had 100+ days and drank last week. My heart was simply breaking for him. Sending him over to read your words. Looking forward to your next 100 too. Lisa

  8. Wow, I picked an awesome time to come visit you! Huge congrats on your 100 day victory!!!

    Sorry my hiatus has seemed to happen right when we getting to know each other. I think I’ll come back and read (stalk) your posts from the last 100 days so I can fully appreciate how far you’ve come.

    But truly, I am so happy for you. Those first 90 days for me were the hardest. Our brains definitely do a hardwire reset after 3 months. Just breathe through the holidays, and know that I am rooting for you!

    xx, Christy

    • Aw! I would be honored if you stalked me! πŸ™‚ Thank you for the support. I am planning low-key holidays this year, and actually looking forward to them! I hope you have a nice holiday season, too, Christy!
      xx

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