“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” –Mark Twain
One of the realizations that led to my decision to sober up was the fact that if I kept going the way I was going, I would never achieve my big dreams in life. What a scary thought! Drinking is such a damn time waster. I mainly drank in the evenings, usually 4-5 times per week (more often in the past, but not since having the baby). After I began drinking I was completely useless at doing anything productive, aside from cooking dinner and watching shows on Netflix. Every evening was an unproductive waste of time!
I am a big believer in doing nothing at times. We all need space to think, sit, meditate, and breathe. That is much different from self-medicating and zoning off for hours at a time. I am a stay-at-home Mom and do not have much time for myself during the day. I need productive time to myself in the mornings and evenings to read, study, and work on projects. This is a fact. There is only so much time in a day.
I want to teach myself how to be a front-end web developer. I want to write creatively- poetry, blogs, maybe a book someday. I want to make subversive cross-stitch projects for my friends. I want to build and paint furniture for my home. I want to save money for travel, and then travel the world with my family. I want to start a daily meditation practice FOR REAL (I’ve said that I was going to do this a million times and have never started). There are so many things that I want to do, and if I continue drinking they will never get done. They will remain in the dream realm indefinitely, along with the millions of other dreams discarded by alcoholics who do not realize how precious time really is. Who always think there is more time to do “all of that.”
How frickin’ sad! I don’t want to be some drunk talking about my dreams…I want to live them!